The 43rd War journal
Journel
I was taken from my family…
I was taken from my family to fight for the revolutionaries…
I was taken from my family to fight for the revolutionaries, with strict orders…
I was taken from my family to fight for the revolutionaries, with strict orders, and harsh conditions…
I was taken from my family…
…in order to save my country
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The 43rd War Poem
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The 43rd War Journal
Day one:
I went to bed a kid and woke up a soldier. It seems that I have been gone for weeks, although it has only been one day. I don’t know exactly where we are, but it feels as if I am in jail; there are guards everywhere. Everyone is shouting orders at me, or staring at me. Most of the other boys are quiet, but a few seem to be out to get me, especially Whistler. I am scared and wonder if I will ever get back to my vill
age or see my mother again. But above all I’m terribly hungry.
I certainly don’t want to fight in this war and Lolo and I are planning to escape. I wanted to jump into an empty truck bed to escape, but Estaban warned me that they check the trucks as they go in and out of the fortress and they would find me.
I went to bed a kid and woke up a soldier. It seems that I have been gone for weeks, although it has only been one day. I don’t know exactly where we are, but it feels as if I am in jail; there are guards everywhere. Everyone is shouting orders at me, or staring at me. Most of the other boys are quiet, but a few seem to be out to get me, especially Whistler. I am scared and wonder if I will ever get back to my vill
age or see my mother again. But above all I’m terribly hungry.I certainly don’t want to fight in this war and Lolo and I are planning to escape. I wanted to jump into an empty truck bed to escape, but Estaban warned me that they check the trucks as they go in and out of the fortress and they would find me.
I hate the revolutionists for causing this war, without them there would be no war and I hate them even more for taking my father and me. Now with no men, the women and children might all die .
Also today the loyalists bombed us from helicopters. Even though the attack lasted for only a minute, five boys were killed and seven more were wounded.
They only gave us a blanket and a hammock and told us we had to sleep on the ground. I asked a boy about snakes and scorpions and he laughed, saying the loyalists would kill us long before a snake or scorpion would. Nacio, Lolo and I all huddled together for warmth, because it was so cold. I thought about how I have to try to get out of here. They cannot make me a soldier no matter how hard they try. I am not a soldier, and will never be one. All I can think about in the mean time is how I am going to escape.
Day two:
I woke up early this morning, and was very surprised that I had slept at all last night. The revolutionist leaders were trying to convince us, (the new recruits) about “our duty to our country”. Even though I was scared of him I got up the nerve to go talk with Captain Mendoza. I asked him
if he thought we would win this war. He slowly replied to me that he was unsure.
I think this is a war that nobody can win. Or if the revolutionaries did defeat the loyalists, once they got in power they would be just as bad. Then a new revolutionary group would form and war would break out all over again. There is no real difference, the poor would still get conscripted.
When we die, they bury us; play the national anthem, then go get replacements to die the very same way we did. It makes no difference if you are a Loyalist or a Revolutionist – you will still just fight and die. Lolo and Nacio agree. There have been 42 revolutions already, so what is the point of fighting the 43rd?
The Captain thinks we are fighting for our country, fighting for a better life for the children. Then why do they make children fight and die? Nacio thinks there are some good intentioned Revolutionists, but they never get elected as President.
Today we also learned about hand to hand combat and did other drills. They were pretty rough on us; maybe trying to toughen us up. I hurt all over, and I went to sleep imagining how I might “accidently” kill one of our trainers under the cover of a battle.
Day Five:
Also today the loyalists bombed us from helicopters. Even though the attack lasted for only a minute, five boys were killed and seven more were wounded.
They only gave us a blanket and a hammock and told us we had to sleep on the ground. I asked a boy about snakes and scorpions and he laughed, saying the loyalists would kill us long before a snake or scorpion would. Nacio, Lolo and I all huddled together for warmth, because it was so cold. I thought about how I have to try to get out of here. They cannot make me a soldier no matter how hard they try. I am not a soldier, and will never be one. All I can think about in the mean time is how I am going to escape.
Day two:
I woke up early this morning, and was very surprised that I had slept at all last night. The revolutionist leaders were trying to convince us, (the new recruits) about “our duty to our country”. Even though I was scared of him I got up the nerve to go talk with Captain Mendoza. I asked him
if he thought we would win this war. He slowly replied to me that he was unsure.I think this is a war that nobody can win. Or if the revolutionaries did defeat the loyalists, once they got in power they would be just as bad. Then a new revolutionary group would form and war would break out all over again. There is no real difference, the poor would still get conscripted.
When we die, they bury us; play the national anthem, then go get replacements to die the very same way we did. It makes no difference if you are a Loyalist or a Revolutionist – you will still just fight and die. Lolo and Nacio agree. There have been 42 revolutions already, so what is the point of fighting the 43rd?
The Captain thinks we are fighting for our country, fighting for a better life for the children. Then why do they make children fight and die? Nacio thinks there are some good intentioned Revolutionists, but they never get elected as President.
Today we also learned about hand to hand combat and did other drills. They were pretty rough on us; maybe trying to toughen us up. I hurt all over, and I went to sleep imagining how I might “accidently” kill one of our trainers under the cover of a battle.
Day Five:
I hardly got any sleep because the baby was crying all night. I had to carry the baby along with two rifles, my ammunition, bla
nkets and supplies.
After a while Captain Mendoza commanded me and another boy to drop everything except our rifles and go with him. We took the baby and Magdalena on a stretcher to a camp, where they could take care of them. When we got to the camp and dropped off Magdalena and the baby I was very sad. My arms felt strange and empty without her with out the baby as well. Although I was upset to leave the baby I was glad we found a place to take care of them. Now I strongly agree with the Revolutionists. I think they are fighting for a good reason, especially because they helped these two villagers live.
As we were heading back through a thick jungle the Captain signaled for us to lay flat on the ground. He signaled that there were Loyalists nearby. A few minutes later sure enough I saw a few men with rifles and rocket launchers in grey uniforms. As I looked at them, I realized I hated the Loyalists now more than ever, and I hated what they did to the village where Magdalena and the baby were from. But when the soldiers got even closer I realized I couldn’t kill anyone, no matter who they were. So when the Captain gave the order to shoot, I could not do it. I missed them on purpose. The others killed them and did not notice my reluctance.
nkets and supplies.After a while Captain Mendoza commanded me and another boy to drop everything except our rifles and go with him. We took the baby and Magdalena on a stretcher to a camp, where they could take care of them. When we got to the camp and dropped off Magdalena and the baby I was very sad. My arms felt strange and empty without her with out the baby as well. Although I was upset to leave the baby I was glad we found a place to take care of them. Now I strongly agree with the Revolutionists. I think they are fighting for a good reason, especially because they helped these two villagers live.
As we were heading back through a thick jungle the Captain signaled for us to lay flat on the ground. He signaled that there were Loyalists nearby. A few minutes later sure enough I saw a few men with rifles and rocket launchers in grey uniforms. As I looked at them, I realized I hated the Loyalists now more than ever, and I hated what they did to the village where Magdalena and the baby were from. But when the soldiers got even closer I realized I couldn’t kill anyone, no matter who they were. So when the Captain gave the order to shoot, I could not do it. I missed them on purpose. The others killed them and did not notice my reluctance.
Day 7:
I wo
ke up to a loud whistle. Right after breakfast we had drills, Then Captain Mendoza told us the Loyalists took over San Ildefonso and we had to go and take it back. We knew we had to get ready for a big, bloody battle. Soon after, a truck rolled up with more guns and ammunition. I definitely am not ready for war; I have never even shot at anyone yet. All I know about war is that I am not a good soldier; I am a good for nothing baby sitter.
Esteban appeared and shouted for us to get our rifles. After, he explained the battle plans. The few units would go to San Ildefonso and camp out by the river. Then the next day, a second unit that is better equipped, would join. Lolo and Nacio were in Unit E with me.
We left the fortress for a long march, carrying heavy packs. We did not have much ammunition and I knew we would be dependent on the other units arriving to help us, as planned. Finally we reached the Rio Santiago. We spread out along the river, out of sight in case the Loyalists came by boat. It was getting dark and late, but Officer Diaz said we had to stay on full alert. After a few hours of waiting in the silence, Lolo signaled that he heard boats. Soon they were in my view. Diaz signaled to hold fire until he shot first. After a few minutes Diaz gave us the signal and shots rang out. I was able to shoot by imaging that these were just black shapes I was trying to hit. I could not think of them as men. After a while the shots slowed down and eventually came to a stop, and empty boats floated down the river.
Day Eight:
Officer Diaz and De Soto were arguing about whether to stay in place or fall back. We needed reinforcements and supplies, all the time I was wondering what a real battle would be like. I was able to shoot at the sh
adows, pretending they were just shapes not men. But I did not think I could do it in day light.
I found myself discussing our plans with Diaz. He said I was thinking like a soldier. Was I really becoming a soldier? The decision was to stay in place and hope the other unit arrived soon. We were low on ammunition and given only two clips
As we were waiting in the jungle, we heard gunfire nearby. Diaz singled to wait until he fired first. Suddenly the Loyalists burst into sight on the opposite bank of the river. With their Uzis in hand, they quickly jumped on their boats. We were outnumbered. Diaz screamed fire! Within seconds it was so loud that everything seemed like a blur. I could not look at their faces, so just aimed at their chests. Somehow I had done it, and was now a soldier for the Revolutionists.
The new units appeared, led by Captain Mendoza. Diaz yelled “Charge!” Now our larger force crossed the river toward the Loyalists and shot them down one by one. After a short break, Captain Mendoza gave us six clips and we marched for a bout three hours toward San Ildefonso.
Right outside San Ildefonso we stopped to eat some beans and tortillas. No one spoke. I found out that Sergeant Cardozo would lead my unit; I still had not seen Nacio and Lolo. I asked the Sergeant about them and he replied they were probably in another line.
We entered the outskirts of San Ildefonso and started searching the houses, but they were empty. As we neared the town square we could hear a battle raging. When we jogged in to the town square there was war all over. I ducked into a chapel where it was a little quieter but all of a sudden there were bullets all around us – we were being attacked form behind. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and blacked out. I woke up looking at the canopy of the jungle at twilight. Nacio was looking down at me and Olivares was examining my shoulder. My first question was whether we won Ildefonso back. Olivares said no, but we did kill many Loyalists.
I remembered Captain Mendoza saying that this war would make a better place for babies like Manolete, and I started to believe this and wanted to see the Revolutionists win.
When I woke up later I saw Nacio again. I asked him about Lolo. All he would tell me is that he was wounded and evacuated by helicopter. He said, don’t worry, Lolo will be all right, I agreed that Lolo would be alright. I wondered what would happen to us. Nacio whispered in my ear that Mendoza was planning to send him north to study and become a doctor, to help our country. I know understood that being a soldier was not the only way to help our country. Then he told me that Captain Mendoza planned to send me home to go to school. He wanted me to become a teacher and talk to people about the Revolutionists cause.
I was surprised they would let me go. Why did they take us from our villages if we were not supposed to be soldiers? Nacio said that we would still be soldiers, but that he would be a doctor soldier and that I would be a teacher soldier. I began thinking about how a teacher could serve the cause. I agreed. Something had happened to us since we were conscripted. From now on I knew I was a soldier, even if I am not fighting in the army. I am a soldier no matter what. I will always be a soldier…for the revolution!
(Photo source) http://www.tmlpeterson.com/images/hot_nasty.jpg
I wo
ke up to a loud whistle. Right after breakfast we had drills, Then Captain Mendoza told us the Loyalists took over San Ildefonso and we had to go and take it back. We knew we had to get ready for a big, bloody battle. Soon after, a truck rolled up with more guns and ammunition. I definitely am not ready for war; I have never even shot at anyone yet. All I know about war is that I am not a good soldier; I am a good for nothing baby sitter.Esteban appeared and shouted for us to get our rifles. After, he explained the battle plans. The few units would go to San Ildefonso and camp out by the river. Then the next day, a second unit that is better equipped, would join. Lolo and Nacio were in Unit E with me.
We left the fortress for a long march, carrying heavy packs. We did not have much ammunition and I knew we would be dependent on the other units arriving to help us, as planned. Finally we reached the Rio Santiago. We spread out along the river, out of sight in case the Loyalists came by boat. It was getting dark and late, but Officer Diaz said we had to stay on full alert. After a few hours of waiting in the silence, Lolo signaled that he heard boats. Soon they were in my view. Diaz signaled to hold fire until he shot first. After a few minutes Diaz gave us the signal and shots rang out. I was able to shoot by imaging that these were just black shapes I was trying to hit. I could not think of them as men. After a while the shots slowed down and eventually came to a stop, and empty boats floated down the river.
Day Eight:
Officer Diaz and De Soto were arguing about whether to stay in place or fall back. We needed reinforcements and supplies, all the time I was wondering what a real battle would be like. I was able to shoot at the sh
adows, pretending they were just shapes not men. But I did not think I could do it in day light.I found myself discussing our plans with Diaz. He said I was thinking like a soldier. Was I really becoming a soldier? The decision was to stay in place and hope the other unit arrived soon. We were low on ammunition and given only two clips
As we were waiting in the jungle, we heard gunfire nearby. Diaz singled to wait until he fired first. Suddenly the Loyalists burst into sight on the opposite bank of the river. With their Uzis in hand, they quickly jumped on their boats. We were outnumbered. Diaz screamed fire! Within seconds it was so loud that everything seemed like a blur. I could not look at their faces, so just aimed at their chests. Somehow I had done it, and was now a soldier for the Revolutionists.
The new units appeared, led by Captain Mendoza. Diaz yelled “Charge!” Now our larger force crossed the river toward the Loyalists and shot them down one by one. After a short break, Captain Mendoza gave us six clips and we marched for a bout three hours toward San Ildefonso.
Right outside San Ildefonso we stopped to eat some beans and tortillas. No one spoke. I found out that Sergeant Cardozo would lead my unit; I still had not seen Nacio and Lolo. I asked the Sergeant about them and he replied they were probably in another line.
We entered the outskirts of San Ildefonso and started searching the houses, but they were empty. As we neared the town square we could hear a battle raging. When we jogged in to the town square there was war all over. I ducked into a chapel where it was a little quieter but all of a sudden there were bullets all around us – we were being attacked form behind. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and blacked out. I woke up looking at the canopy of the jungle at twilight. Nacio was looking down at me and Olivares was examining my shoulder. My first question was whether we won Ildefonso back. Olivares said no, but we did kill many Loyalists.
I remembered Captain Mendoza saying that this war would make a better place for babies like Manolete, and I started to believe this and wanted to see the Revolutionists win.
When I woke up later I saw Nacio again. I asked him about Lolo. All he would tell me is that he was wounded and evacuated by helicopter. He said, don’t worry, Lolo will be all right, I agreed that Lolo would be alright. I wondered what would happen to us. Nacio whispered in my ear that Mendoza was planning to send him north to study and become a doctor, to help our country. I know understood that being a soldier was not the only way to help our country. Then he told me that Captain Mendoza planned to send me home to go to school. He wanted me to become a teacher and talk to people about the Revolutionists cause.
I was surprised they would let me go. Why did they take us from our villages if we were not supposed to be soldiers? Nacio said that we would still be soldiers, but that he would be a doctor soldier and that I would be a teacher soldier. I began thinking about how a teacher could serve the cause. I agreed. Something had happened to us since we were conscripted. From now on I knew I was a soldier, even if I am not fighting in the army. I am a soldier no matter what. I will always be a soldier…for the revolution!
(Photo source) http://www.tmlpeterson.com/images/hot_nasty.jpg
(Photo source: http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/june06/child_soldier.jpg)
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